Abbys

By Kid Eponym.

I'm a fuck-up you're telling me
because my life is a mass of nothing
who are you to tell me how to live anyway
even though it's true
yes it's true
that I'm a fuck-up and I'm damn proud of it
yes it's true
because it's true
that I'm all screwed up
so what'cha gonna do
what'cha gonna do?!

-The Youth Ahead
"I'm a fuck-up"
1997 The Youth Ahead

"I am good and I am fine/because I color in the lines/I will do what doctor says/ ‘tiL Mr Lobster makes him Derezz!!!"

This yogang is a morass of badly-phrased, and ill-conceived text. The masculine pronoun is used throughout because the user has a pair of testicles and is, therefore, evil and thoughtless. Many of the sentences are run-ons, and are not intended to be read aloud. Jesus shed his Precious Blood for you, and it tastes just like Hawaiian punch. Anyways, here's the gang: come feast your eyes...

New Revised Standard Version
Summary: Those children who "aren't quite normal", even by 2027 standards.
Editor's Note: I do not exist.

"OK, here's the diagnosis: there's three ticktockmen...uh CorpSecs up ahead and we've gotta' take ‘em out while they're unawares or they'll call their doctor johnson for backup. I've been stuck on the Slab enough times that I can tell where they're coming from: most likely they have orders to take in any oddly juvies but, being pawns of the doctorjohnsons, they have to look out for their bosses interests first: such as victims of the big bad yogangs, in fact these poor victims usually take top priority. So Astoria, you start screaming, Miggs and I will stay out of sight because we look threatening. Now Jimmy... you look safe enough to play the Harlequin, stand over her and look distraught, and take these three derms of Caerulian Blue to give those pigs the time of their lives while they're busy helping poor little rich girl. They'll do this because their Standard Operating Procedure Manual says their first priority is to help the corporate and helpless. How'd I get those, you ask? I took ‘em from Big Nurse just before I got released on account of cutbacks and have been saving them for a special occasion. Oh, and Astoria,we're gonna have to make you look a little more banged-up. Don't worry, I'll try to limit myself to your dress."

"You think we're crazy because we can't think straight: look at you, you're an eco-terrorist who finds himself forced to use a megacorporation's products just to blow it up, a gothic wannabe who has to wear his mommy's makeup just to shock her, a steroid head so obsessed with a good fight he has to step on the weak to get there, or one of a million other walking contradictions. Hundreds of rebels who have to act like their masters in some way or another. And while you're out hoping you're mocking The Man rather than flattering Him through imitation, we're out doing what we want, and don't care what the hell anyone thinks of us.... So, does anyone want a banana? <Offering a Chiquita banana to audience>"

"Abby" is short for "Aberrant Psychological Profile" which is a nice term either for "psycho" or "retard", you may also call yourselves/be called"Spec" which is short for "Very Special Person" which means much the same thing. You were tagged as different somewhere along the lines, maybe it was when you refused to color within the lines in kindergarten, or maybe it was when your Megaviolent goboys threw you out of the gang because you were beginning to scare them, or maybe it was just because you were, indeed truly insane and the tests said so. However it happened, you ended up within the system, filling out multiple choice test forms and taking psychological exams to decide which forms you would fill out next and which psychological exams you'd take next. Eventually, you were given medication and sent to a Supervised Living Center. Those places made Orwell & Huxley's visions of the future seem like Malt Dizmee Place in the Tampa Arco in comparison. Every so often, just as you were adjusting to the routine, you would be given more tests and exams, and sent back through the system. Now, just as the communication systems of the world are like P^<M^n to the Vidiots, the vast bureaucracies and Psychological Examinations are like two teenagers alone in a deserted mansion to the chain saw-wielding maniac of your psyche. Those of you who entered the system through a flaw of paperwork or detection will probably have emerged paranoid and cynical, just like your Cyberpunk parents; those who started out crazy or mentally deficient will have found it a bit easier to cope. You know that no world will ever be able to truly accept you or those like you, but you hope that Rache will be able to convince the neo-revolutionaries to give you a quarter of the city you can turn into your own personal paradise. Or maybe even show you how to let others see Mr.Lobster.

What You Look Like

No gang has greater variation in terms of appearance and behavior than the Abbys. Some of you have the stereotypical ripped strait jacket/evil-grin look that people expect from this yogang, other, more dangerous types look perfectly normal, just like anyone else. Some of you have gone so far as to join a yogang, or to pose as a member and/or rejoin the gang you were once a member of before you got committed. Some of these so-called "pantsboys" have even become quite successful such as the Tinkertots' Doktor FaustusGöring-Mengele, the Rads' W. Harlequin Smith, and the MegaViolents' GunterFacerip. Others such as the Tribals' Snakefoot-Walks-Narrow-Mountain-Paths and the (in-) famous Glitterkid Johnny Clavichrome (who played a bizarre combination Drum kit/Synthesizer/Accordion), have been merely embarassments. If you are a "typical" Abby you will have spent somewhere between a quarter and half your life in the "gentle mercies" of the ISA. You might be barking mad, having to mainline lithium in order to stay calm enough to read this. Then again, you might have been sent into the Bureau of Mental Health by mistake and have been perfectly sane when you got there... now you're probably not so certain. As a general rule, your dress tends to bring out some superficial aspect of your personality that you wish to make others focus on... like your obsession with A Clockwork Orange as typified by your bowler,cravat, walking stick and eye makeup; or your paranoia-OCD combination by carrying three (or five, or seven, or whatever your magic number is) of anything which might come in handy. Note that while your dress is a parody of yourself, you are not a parody of your psychosis. You have been fucked up the ass by the system, and now you're sticking thumbtacks and razor blades in there just in case it ever happens again. On the upside, you recognize that the stuff that's happening to you is just another frying pan and nothing to Freudover.

Subculture

Besides those Abbys whose psychoses match the behavior of a yogang there is,indeed, a society of the insane. Those who've gotten out of the LittleRoom generally act about the same as most of the rest of the YoScene in terms of general behavior, that is to say partying til late and flaunting rules. Since the system has lost track of most of you, you probably won't have to worry about getting sent back. Since you are a relatively small group that doesn't really have much of a 20th century parallel, you tend to hang out at others' hot spots: you've impressed Goths by enjoying your feelings of hopelessness more than they do, you've played chicken with GoGangers by standing in the paths of their bikes and screaming "run me over, leatherboy!", and you've flustered well-meaning Vidiots by having exactly no redeeming features worthy of a human interest story, and claiming they have no idea of how "the system" works.

Slang

Bignurse- Anyone in charge of law enforcement and/or treating the patients.
Big Room- The world outside of the Mental Hospital/Welfare System/etc. which is known as the Little Room.
BoBo- Violently Insane, and thus cool.
Dance, the- the behaviors necessary for maintaining a position in society or any facet thereof. These are, however, useless unless one is wearing The Pants.
Doctorjohnson- Those in charge of administering medication in the wards, as well as any psychologists, psychiatrists, and other professionals in charge of What's Best For You. In the Big Room: any authority figure who wants to "Reform Our Nation's Troubled Youth Through Strict Repression"
F.O.D.- One who entered the Bureau of Mental Health sane... in other words: (F<CENSORED> On Delivery) also known as Fuds when you substitute Upon for On. As a passive verb, to be thrown into a bad situation for which you had no chance to prepare and has little to do with your previous situation. Like fryingpan only worse, i.e. getting mugged while walking down the street at night rather than getting mugged by the guy who'd already won most of your money in the craps game you were trying to leave.
Freud- To freak out, the act of freaking out, and/or one who is prone to become inconvenient at inopportune moments.
Fryingpan- (verb)to be informed that you've got a more serious condition/you are being sent to higher security/they know that you only need half as much dexadrine and wonder where you're selling it. In broader terms, to be thrown into a situation which is a level or three worse than your current bad one. (Noun) the act of being fryingpanned. (Adj) to suck. Since frying pans today are all electric, there's no longer a fire to jump into.
Harlequin- A BeaverBrat(from that old Harlan Ellison story), or anyone whose revolutionary activities are more to show the populace something and/or disrupt the system than merely commit violence against the man who slaves for the man who slaves for the man who slaves for the Goddamn Man.
Malk- (adj)Cool, (noun)one who is cool, (verb) to disrupt the system because there's no category for you.
Orwell, Puppet Head, Ticktockman- What others call The Man, the government or the branch of it that strives to repress the common, and uncommon, citizen until he's merely a muppet only not as cute and fuzzy. When used as a verb, it means either to really suck or to act like the noun. As an adjective, it means the same thing as the first verb definition(i.e. that really Orwells. BTW, the hierarchy is Bignurse at the top, then Doctorjohnson, then the rest.
Pants, the- any external clothing/mannerisms that allow one to fit into any portion of society.
Pantsboy- an Abby who manages to fit in well enough to join another yogang Pink- a "normal", one who truly buys into the ISA's bullshit and/or an Abby who turns traitor. From the Church of the Subgenius<www.subgenius.com>

Friends & Enemies

It's hard to generalize about you, because you could be almost anyone. Generally you respect the Goths and Megaviolents because they understand that life sucks and then you get put on life support so they can do experiments on your perpetually-warm corpse, your only quibbles are contained in the above quotes. You also like the FaceDancers because they remind you of Spaz, who the Doctorjohnson said had MPD. The Tribals and EcoRaiders, you see as merely taking on a revolution that has been lost long ago, and as fools who don't understand how the system works... or the joys being certifiable but unclassifiable can bring. You have similar ideas about the Vidiots, so naive as to think that just because the truth is out there for everyone to see that things'll get changed. The Guardians are merely toadies to Bignurse, merely stupid if not evil, and you have no use for the Golden and Glitterkids. You kinda' identify with GoGangaz, ArcoRunners, and BoardPunks, except they're limited to doing it with their bodies, and only when attached to the proper bike/board/piece of climbing gear. If you have any true friends, it's the Rads because they, like you, refused to color in the lines back in school: but you got caught and now you have a new face, so you treat them like the fresh-faced junior reporters they are. You often call them Sparky. Beaverbrats are, on occasion, also deserving of the epithet, "Sparky," but only when they've reached the apex of their sickeningly wholesome anarchy. Streetfighters, you see as half-tribal and half-guardian, and so they orwell. The Tinkertots, Mallbrats and Squats you see as having a skill, but not doing anything with their gifts. You claim that all other yogangs don't exist,especially your own.

Belonging

Generally, Abbys will run in small packs of 2-5 so as to avoid detection. They are generally lenient as to rules, but anyone who squeals to Bignurse, Doctorjohnson, or the Ticktockman will meet a nasty and rather interesting end. The majority of Abbys will be found as the more computer aligned of this yogang monitor the records of most institutions and will seek out potential new members, and occasionally rescue a particularly promising psycho who's about to be lobomotomized or the like. Abbys don't really mind poseurs much: if you can act as crazy as they are without having to spend 6 years in the ward, you deserve the right to run with them... if not a badge and a hat with a whistle. To be a true Abby, however, you have to spend sometime being repressed and learning to live with it/to love it/how to prevent it from ever happening again. The group is more than happy to provide such repression upon request. Once you have gained your stigmata, whether it be from Electroshock, Behavior Modification Drugs, Mindwipesofts, hours of gruelling inquisition in the name of Mental Health, etc. and have learned to crack the codes and piss off Big Nurse by not sucking up and what Freddy the fish and Willy the Worm on those Personality Profiling Tests Really Represent you are an Abby for life, what you do from there is immaterial.

The recruitment are a slightly different matter, as they need to wear the Pants and do the Dance. Thus, when a pantsboy joins a yogang, he will make his joining a particularly arduous one, to remind him of his insane nature. Some samples include a particularly muscular recruit dressing up in a "Smile,Jesus Loves You" T-shirt and khakis and trying to join the MegaViolents, or developing a martial arts style consisting solely of kicks to the groin(or, if the recruit is into animal-based kung-fu, the sea cucumber) and then walking into a Streetfighters Dojo and demanding a formal match with its leader. Note that the recruit's success is necessary for the Abby to be considered a Pantsboy.

Yogang Skill: MacMurphying (INT/COOL)

Alternately known as Borderlining(both come from 20thcentury books, the first from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, the other a novel called Borderliners) this is the art of disrupting the system by knowing how it works better than those who spin the webs as well as staying insane despite the constant pressure. This skill has two major parts: 1)It allows you to nearly instantly understand what's happening and how people will react if they're following their instructions, so you'll be able to ride the system like a Vidiot rides the communications net, and climb inside the mind of a CorpSec stooge so long as he has his shoulder pads on. And B) It lets you knowhow to stand up to the electro shock, and the various methods by which the Corporate State wears its people down.

Sample Tests

Part A: Knowing whether a corpsec will check the dumpster or the pile of packing crates first(Easy 5). Knowing whether a corpsec is feeling lucky or just has mercy loads by the day and his tone of voice... and what common materials can stop them(Moderate 10). Knowing exactly where someone in corp issue Metal Gear(R) is incapable of looking due to a minor but significant design flaw(Difficult 15)

Part 2: Undergoing Questioning on matters that you truly believe in and will die before you reveal without cracking, even with a skilled interrogator, that annoying light and sleep deprivation(Easy 5). Undergoing Questioning on moderately pressing matters without cracking, even with a skilled interrogator and moderate "encouragement" up to, but not including, electroshocks to the genitals(Moderate 10). Undergoing Questioning that you know full well will actually help your side, without cracking even if they insert microchips under your fingernails to increase the pain (Difficult 15).

If you wish, you may instead become a Pantsboy. That is to say, you are masquerading as a member of another Yogang; or are a former member of a Yogang who's turned Abby. If you do this, you take your equipment from the other‘gang's stuff and basically act as one of them. You take both this Yogang's skill and that of the other gang, but their maximums are both 4 and they cost double the experience to advance.

Note that the minimum a regular Abby can have in his yogang skill is 4 and a pantsboy has a minimum of 2 due to the necessity of this yogang to be relatively good at what they do(if not the best) because what they do isn't very pretty.

If You're An Abby

1)Tell me your name, age and sex
2)Describe what you look like
3)Tell me how and why you got into the system and how you got out. In other words, what's your bent? Are you paranoid, schizophrenic, paranoid-schizophrenic, sociopathic, homicidal, a compulsive liar, a victim of Tourette's syndrome, autistic, the victim of child abuse, an undesirable freethinker, something else, or were you just unlucky and hit "B" instead of "C" on that mandatory annual psychological exam. If you are a pantsboy, explain whether you were one before, or after you joined the Abbys(or both). If one of the latter two options, explain how you joined your yogang.
4)Describe some of your favorites among the various personality tests that were administered to you

Yogang Stuff

Besides your free V-Trodes pick four things from the list you are carrying with you. Note that if you have not taken the normal looking clothes, you're wearing either BMH Coveralls or clothing conducive to your psychosis.

Straight Razor(Counts as switchblade except it's DC3)
Suit of relatively normal looking clothes
Medium(AR 5) armored straight jacket with the restraints bitten off
A few psychology texts
2 3-pacs of either Tranquilizers(opposites of Stimulants) or Euphorics/Hallucinogenics
12-pak of Striptape Binders
Perversely altered V-Card Psychologist(usually modeled after Dr. Lechter, or another such evil shrink)With appropriate skills at 5

In addition, pick three things from this list to represent other, perhaps less useful things, you carry with you. You may make up other stuff if the GMagrees.

Teddy Bear, Lucky Baseball Glove, Sno-Globe or similar comfort object.
3 Spiral notebooks, 2 1/2 of which contain your diaries.
Slightly less comforting comfort object like a smoked ham or a severed hand.
Your magic box...just a normal box to anyone else but YOU know the TRUTH.
Pet rat or cockroach kept in your pocket or a matchbox.

Notes on playing these guys

The Abby can be as easily misused as the Malkavian of Vampire: The Masquerade, so remember who you are not: you are not a James Bond as played by Jerry Lewis merely screaming gibberish while you perform your black ops. Nor are you merely any psychopath, only the ones who can remain normal under pressure while your deep black problems bubble just beneath the surface waiting for an opportunity to explode. You aren't going to run down the street screaming FISH! at the top of your lungs, instead,you'll rig a high explosive to the handle of the dumpster where you swear the invisible security cameras saw you place your decoy magic box, and which is actually a cleverly-disguised BuReloc contact point[of course, you don't know this, but it somehow sparked your paranoia]... or do the same thing to a perfectly normal daycare center for the exact same reason. You're HannibalLechter, R.P. MacMurphy, or Andy Kaufman. You do what you do quite well, but may not even realize what it is you're doing. For example, Mr. Kaufman is one of those chiefly responsible for the state of modern Professional Wrestling.

Author's Note

Anyone who does a drawing which captures this Yogang's spirit will earn my respect....and some big red straps. Anyone actually attempting to actually play one of these lovable fuckups should send me the character to prove I'm not alone. And their home phone number(or at least their e-mail) if they're female.
-Kid Eponym