Jake Lloyd

I hope you're watching your backs, kids, because there's a Christian on the loose. Yeah, you heard me right - a Christian. Don't get scared now - well, okay, do - just make sure he doesn't convince you of anything.

Man on a Mission

Jake Lloyd is the ISA's premier make-you-believe-er. He made his fortune from charity television, retired, and now tours the country preaching to the masses. To the southerners, he's almost God Himself (but not quite, of course). Strange, then, that he's a dangerous man with a grudge against the cybergeneration.

Lloyd is known in almost every home across the ISA, aswell as many European and Australasian countires. He is famous for his wild Christian orgies, where the bible replaces the Karma Sutra and candles are only used for one thing. Thousands attend his services (millions if they're televised). But, he's not really such a nice man. Those who know him will tell you that, if you can ever get close to the. He's left a string of beaten wives, abused children and a sack full of sacked hairdressers, beauticians and mole-removal therapists. Most of all, though, he doesn't like kids. Especially punk kids.

Praise the Lord!

Lloyd sees all kids as being the same. They're all into drugs, crime and underage sex. They'd kill their grandmothers for their next fix. Most of all, they're not Christians. Lloyd himself commissioned a survey to discover exactly how low public opinion of the Church was running among youths. Unsurprisingly, it was poor. He was disappointed for a while, thought he could change them by persuasion, then realised that was pointless. They need showing the way, forcibly.

Lloyd began his "crusade" shortly afterwards, around 2025. Since then, he has visited every city in the country. Publically, he is preaching to the masses, spreading the word. In reality, he is rounding up kids off the streets, and selling their souls in his research labs and farms across the south.

Every kid has something to fear in Jake Lloyd. He has lost all compassion and truly believes what he is doing is right. As such, he is a formidable enemy. At all times, he is surrounded by minders and hangers-on, and only sees a select few who he deems worthy. If you are "lucky", you may get to see him briefly after one of his shows. He will congratulate you, tell you your place in heaven is booked, and ask how many kids you've got?

Holy Bandwagon

The Lloyd Tour is one mother of a tour indeed. Jake travels around in a huge executive coach, effectively his home for the past several years. His entourage comprises of several further coaches (lesser models, of course) of minders and personal staff. Behind them, come the temporary homes for the children he "finds". Until they reach the next city, these kids live packed together, wondering what is going to happen to them.

Their fate is not particularly pleasant. Most are sent to research labs, where officially illegal experiments will be conducted on them by government scientists. Evolved kids are treated with extra care, so as not to damage them. They can, though, look forward to extra-special tests to compensate for this luxury. Other kids are sent out of the country, possibly into effective slavery in remote, backward countries. There, they will grow up wondering who they are, where they are, and why Jake Llloyd is such a screwed-up fucker.